All Dogs go to Heaven 3: the Rapture
by StupidSequel
Summary: I kinda rushed through this, so the second half will be My Immortal quality. Charlie and Itchy face the Biblical Tribulation and they must defeat the Antichrist. We also learn why demons shouldn't use Snuggies.


**All Dogs Go to Heaven 3: the Rapture**

**(AN: I wrote this quickly because I wanted 2 upload it 2day being may 21 2011 so there may be mistakes well enooiy)**

"Hey, Itchy, guess what?" Charlie barked excitedly. "I know when the rapture is gonna happen. The rapture will occur on May 21, 2011. So we should go to Vegas and sin our hearts out until 11:59 P.M. On May 20th, and then at the last minute, repent. Jesus will for sure rapture us up into Heaven." Itchy thought it sounded like a good plan. They were having fun slaughtering random people, whoring themselves, and engaging in kleptomania, so much they lost track of time. Midnight at May 21, 2011, Charlie and Itchy heard a trumpet kind of sound from the sky. They saw dog spirits rising up to the sky. The duo then found themselves rising up to the sky. Apparently since they're dogs, they need not repent, cuz ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN! Except Carface, but *spoiler warning* he's actually an Escavalier, not a dog. For those of you who are not into Pokemon, Escavalier is a jousting snail with a Marvin the Martian type helmet on. It's gonna become a major plot point later on. I've said too much.

"NOOOO! I DON'T WANNA GO TO HEAVEN JUST YET! EARTH IS TOO MUCH FUN! HEAVEN SUCKS! I'LL DO ANYTHING TO STAY ON EARTH!" No effect. He steered himself over inside an office building and grabbed a roll of duct tape. He tried to swim downward, but to no avail. He saw a helicopter flying overhead. He saw his chance. He went just below the blades and let them chop off his angel wings. He was falling. He saw his body lying below. He missed his body and was falling straight to hell! Oh no! Itchy grabbed a rope, let the chopper chop off his angel wings, and lowered a rope down.

"Grab on so you don't burn for all eternity," he choked. Charlie climbed the rope back up to Earth. He went to where his body was and used the roll of duct tape to duct tape his soul back inside his body. Anabelle's face appeared in an office window nearby. She did a face-palm.

"You WILL go to heaven whether you like it or not!" she growled. Charlie's spirit started rising out of his body again, but the duct tape held it firm. At last the tractor beam thingie gave up. "Well fine! Go face the Biblical Tribulation! If the Antichrist tries to behead you, I don't give a damn!" She pouted. Charlie didn't feel even the slightest stab of fear. The Antichrist revealed himself. It was David, the same magician guy from the second movie. Yup, the Antichrist is just a kid. Everything was going butter smooth until...

3.5 years later, a statue of The Thinker stood right outside. A cantrip shot out of David's flat stomach. He had a protruding beer belly. The statue outside began to speak in a louder than an erupting volcano voice so that the world could hear.

"Everyone! Listen up and listen good! From now on, all cash is obsolete. There will be a new way of buying stuff now! In order to buy or sell anything, a Mark will be placed on your right hand or paw. Anyone who I catch without the Mark of the Beast will die a horrible death!"

Charlie and Itchy heard the statue's voice ring out from all directions.

"Hmmm. If I take The Mark, I'm almost certain to go to hell for all eternity, but I love food, so how else am I supposed to get some nom noms? Also, a gnarly new waterslide just opened at the waterpark! I'm like, tubular! It is a way cool way to get some awesome thrills while listening to groovy music in a mondo tube going all outrageous and doing some funky dances!" Charlie said with enthusiasm. Itchy nodded in agreement.

Meanwhile, Red the cat devil was wearing a tuxedo, sitting at a family restaurant, kissing another cat devil named Pink, who was wearing a pretty strapless dress with sequins all over it. "I got you a present," she whispered in his ear. "Close your eyes and hold out your paws." She had given him a Snuggie. "It's a Snuggie, which is a blanket with sleeves, or as one would put it, a backwards bath robe."

Every night Red had trouble sleeping in his Snuggie because it made him too hot. And the persistent ads on the teevee did nothing to help the situation. I'm talking about ads such as the Pants Pisser waterslide at the Hurricane Kingdom waterpark, and of course this one crazy Holiday World commercial where this family was in heaven and they were asked if they would like to take a trip to Holiday World, and the family agreed. They ended up having more fun at Holiday World than in heaven. "I've been to heaven, and it does not compare to riding the Voyage," one person put it.

Pink was in the dining room, darning a fireproof bacalava. She was sneakily taking some of Red's Buspirone because she didn't think he would like the taste. Red woke up at 4ish.

"TAKE ME TO THE WATERPARK! I WANNA RIDE THE NEW PANTS PISSER WATERSLIDE OR WE GET A DIVORCE. I NEED TO COOL OFF AFTER SLEEPING FOR ONLY 3 HOURS IN MY SNUGGIE," Red demanded. They got in their Toyota Tercell, or whichever one has the slanted back, no trunk. So they went to the waterpark, and Red got to ride the Pants Pisser. He died because it's a waterpark. He ended up going to heaven.

Back on earth, charlie and itchy both took the mark of the beast because they wanted admission tickets to go ride the new Pants pisSer waterslide at the local waterpark and so they can eat all the nom noms they want. Now they were doomed to hell for all eternity because they had the mark but they didnt care because they were at a waterpark. Suddenyl out of the blue itchy was lanemting about how buch her misses heaven. So he tried to commit suicide by drownimng but charlie talked him out of it with a chocolate cherry piwe.

'don't youlll fo to he;ll dude," charklioe reminded him.

"but all dogs go to heaven dont they"" itchy was confuseedd.

'not cvarface, {" charlie reminfed hikm,.

'whu am I speaking like someone is typing with butterfingers?' itchy lampshaded my typing skilsls/ charlie shrihuigeed. So itchy socmmited suiceice by droiwninig and charlie wa fearing fo his soul because he was in hell now because he tok the marhp of ther beact. Charlie decided 2 waegned his fallen friend by killing the antichrist but he couldnt because he was just a kid and he couldnt hikk a kid could he? So he went tio whereever the antuichrist wasd aka daved. He ran up, took him by surpise and but his head off. The antichrist was dead now but he had the mark no matter so he bit the shin off his won forehead off now he no longer had the mark. He was hesistaNT to die now because he wasnt sure if hed go to heaven or hell now that he knew hed takend th emark but he bit the skin off that had it so he should go to heaven right? He let hisrlf bleed to death and hent up 2 heavemn. He wa ssurprised to see red. No carface. Well he did go to hell. He really wanted to ask sonething.

"if all dos go to heaven why didn't carface?"

"because carface is actually a Pokemon, and I needed to have someone spray bad plot and bad grammar rays all over the world so that the world would descend into chaos. I am in heaven because all catas go to heaven. He is Escavalier, the evolution of Karrablast. Carface was actually disguised as a dog, and we all know pokemon go to hell because they evolve." This is the reason for all those misspelled words earlier. Because of the bad grammar and spelling ray. Charlie realized he didn't see itchy. He then inferred that itchy was in hell. So he pleaded for annabelle to release him from hell.

"oh my me I made a terrible mistake he's a dog there4 he should not be in hell." so she releasex dhim f rom hell and itchy was back in jheaven. "anf charlie I realiz how much you hate heaven, so here in heaven, you'll find something specail." charlie found a perfect recreation of Earth. He was in heaven now!


End file.
